IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
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There is an opinion asserting that governments should not spend their budgets on arts because it is a waste of
money
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.
Instead
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, they should allocate
this
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 sum of
money
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 for improving public services. I somehow agree with the given assertion and in
this
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 essay, I am going to explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
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 with, countries could introduce their
culture
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 to the world simply through their arts. To put it another way, arts
such
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 as music or theatre could make an indigenous
culture
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 known to the world on the grounds that each
country
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 injects aspects of its own
culture
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 into their arts. Take Japan, which has a unique cultural heritage, as an illustration, by listening to their music we could gain valuable insight into their
culture
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 and it would awaken our interest in
this
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country
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;
as a result
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, many people are bound to travel there and
this
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 would significantly increase economic growth.
On the other hand
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, it is prominent to expend
money
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 on public services as well. The quality of life in a
country
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 should be a priority for the people in charge.
Therefore
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, public services
such
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 as hospitals and public transportation need to be of paramount importance to a government due to the fact that it contributes to the people's well-being.
That is
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 to say, the higher the quality of public services in a
country
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, the easier it is to live there. A recent survey conducted in London has revealed that people's well-fare rests largely with the quality of public services that they receive;
hence
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, not only would invest
money
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 in public services help to have a satisfied society but
also
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 the public perception of the government's performance would become more positive. All things considered,
although
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 I agree that it is important to spend
money
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 on public services, I do not think spending on the arts is a waste of
money
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.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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