IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
There is an opinion asserting that governments should not spend their budgets on arts because it is a waste of
money
.
Instead
, they should allocate
this
 sum of
money
 for improving public services. I somehow agree with the given assertion and in
this
 essay, I am going to explain my reasons in detail.
To begin
 with, countries could introduce their
culture
 to the world simply through their arts. To put it another way, arts
such
 as music or theatre could make an indigenous
culture
 known to the world on the grounds that each
country
 injects aspects of its own
culture
 into their arts. Take Japan, which has a unique cultural heritage, as an illustration, by listening to their music we could gain valuable insight into their
culture
 and it would awaken our interest in
this
country
;
as a result
, many people are bound to travel there and
this
 would significantly increase economic growth.
On the other hand
, it is prominent to expend
money
 on public services as well. The quality of life in a
country
 should be a priority for the people in charge.
Therefore
, public services
such
 as hospitals and public transportation need to be of paramount importance to a government due to the fact that it contributes to the people's well-being.
That is
 to say, the higher the quality of public services in a
country
, the easier it is to live there. A recent survey conducted in London has revealed that people's well-fare rests largely with the quality of public services that they receive;
hence
, not only would invest
money
 in public services help to have a satisfied society but
also
 the public perception of the government's performance would become more positive. All things considered,
although
 I agree that it is important to spend
money
 on public services, I do not think spending on the arts is a waste of
money
.
Submitted by love_interesting75 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: