The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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We see the graph below that summarizes the proportion of 65+ ages (say, elderly in short) in
general
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the general
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population between three different countries beginning from the
1940’s
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1940s
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and up to
2040’s
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2040s
show examples
.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
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showed with a black line, Sweden
,
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apply
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showed with Green and Japan with the red one. When we look at the graph we see that in the early years of twenty
Fix the agreement mistake
century
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centuries
Add a comma
,centuries
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the percentage of elderly people close
between
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to
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each country,
ranged
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ranging
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between five to ten
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
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.
At the end
Linking Words
of the
sixties
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,sixties
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there is a trend to increase
on
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in
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this
Linking Words
proportion
at
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in
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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and Sweden
while
Linking Words
Japan seems
contrast
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to contrast
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of
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apply
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it.
Whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
increasing
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increase
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continues till
80s
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the 80s
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for those two countries, Japan continues
on
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in
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almost the same range (between less than 5
percentages
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per cent
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to
near
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nearly
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10) through
the
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apply
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2020. Another stroke seems for the USA at the beginning of
2020’s
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2020s
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.
After
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From
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2020 to 2040 all
of
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apply
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three countries’
population
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populations
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65+ aged regularly
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, too.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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