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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People today are not as fit as they were in the past. What are the causes of this? What can governments do to deal with this issue?

#people #governments
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It has been observed that there is a significant decline in the
health
Use synonyms
 of people as compared to
past
Suggestion
the past
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because people are unable to perform physical activities. There are
number
Suggestion
a number
 of solutions that should be implemented by the government to improve the
health
Use synonyms
 and fitness of people. The reason why most of the people
are not fit
Suggestion
don't fit
 as they use to be in the past is due to their inability to perform physical activities.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, nowadays, people do not have enough time to take care of their physical
health
Use synonyms
 because they work longer hours to support the basic needs of their family. On the top of that, they work in a pressure environment, which makes them tired and inactive.
As a result
Linking Words
, upon returning home, they prefer watching television to relax themselves,
instead
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 of playing actual outdoor games. The most effective solution to unhealthy lifestyle is raising awareness among the people. One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 is that government should organise
health
Use synonyms
 awareness campaigns whose main aim is to educate people about the
health
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 issues faced by unwell people.
This
Linking Words
 solution would hopefully encourage people to stay away from
health
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 diseases by opting the habit of healthy eating along with performing outdoor activities
such
Linking Words
 as running, jogging and yoga. To conclude, I agree that in the modern
world people
Accept comma addition
world, people
 are not active as they were in the past due to their busy work schedule.
However
Linking Words
, government efforts,
such
Linking Words
 as, raising awareness about the
health
Use synonyms
 issues can encourage people to follow
healthy lifestyle
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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