Some people think to produce happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earning between the rich and the poor. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
People
have different opinions about whether a smaller disparity of salary between the rich and the poor can lead to a better society
or not. In my opinion, people
could be better off by having a smaller disparity between the rich and the poor. There are several reasons why a smaller gap between the rich and the poor can benefit our society
.Firstly
, studies have showed
that there is a positive correlation between violence, antisocial Change the verb form
shown
behavior
and Change the spelling
behaviour
low-income
.If we Correct your spelling
low income
rise
the level of payment Correct your spelling
raise
of
the poor, we could theoretically reduce the crime rate.Change preposition
for
Secondly
, by introducing a higher remuneration to the poor group, the living standard of people
who are paid under average wages could be enhanced to a certain level. In this
case, the overall
competitiveness of a society
could be risen
and Wrong verb form
rise
therefore
drive the business successfully. In the long term, the economy would be invigorated, tax revenues could be increased and a
Remove the article
apply
prosperity
andReplace the word
prosperous
thrived
Wrong verb form
thriving
society
can
Wrong verb form
could
be envision
. Change the verb form
be envisioned
Finally
, sociologists also
suggested that the great difference of
Change preposition
in
wage
between the rich and poor has been a key maker to Fix the agreement mistake
wages
contribute
a deviated standard for millennials to define a person’s value. To be specific, in nowadays Verb problem
apply
society
, more and more people
have a bias
and disrespectful attitude toward the Replace the word
biased
lower payment
group of Correct your spelling
lower-paying
people
as
considering themChange preposition
apply
being
Change the verb form
to be
failure
or mundane.Fix the agreement mistake
failures
This
could also
be reflected on
the widespread Change preposition
in
of
bullying events and unequal Change preposition
apply
treatments
in Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
work place
or school. In conclusion, Correct your spelling
workplace
while
I understand that there are surely other pivotal measures to improve our society
, I believe that narrowing the disparity between the rich and the poor could ensure us a safer and well-being society
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion