Now a days, celebrities earn more money than political personalities? Is it positive or negative development?

In Present scenario, the stars shining in the sky of
film
Suggestion
the film world
world
in comparison to political leaders are earning a big fortune.
Catena
of reasons are attributing to
this
growing trend.
This
development shows the current trend which unveils
new dimension
Suggestion
new dimensions
a new dimension
of
this
world
. There are a number of reasons leading people in
showbiz industry
Suggestion
the showbiz industry
earning good remuneration. The
first
and foremost reason is people's fascination towards film
world
, which confer heavenly title on them.
Secondly
, movie stars have started winning accolades from every quarter of the
world whereas
Accept comma addition
world, whereas
the popularity of political personalities is confined to their respective place only.
Thirdly
,
considerable number
Suggestion
a considerable number
considerable numbers
of youngsters
emulates
Suggestion
emulate
the outfits and lifestyle of celebrities and wishes to opt the same discipline as their future career.
However
, today’s generation is not inclined towards becoming political leaders as it is deemed as a murky place where parties sling mud at each other. These reasons make their profession less attractive.
This
growing trend does not seem
positive but
Accept comma addition
positive, but
not fair and square. Giving precedence to
film profession
Suggestion
the film profession
discourage
forthcoming generation
Suggestion
the forthcoming generation
.
Accept space
.
o
Suggestion
O
usher in
this
industry.
Therefore
the need of the hour is to give equal weight to all professions from all walks of life. Keeping all the facts in mind, all occupation should be given equal importance and salary is the motivating factor which should be given according to the capabilities and skills, not ion the basis of popularity,
Submitted by keenlearner2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: