The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

• You should write at least 150 words.

• You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The bar chart illustrates the details
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
thousand
cardiac arrests in the USA per year, all
males
and females of different
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ages
are divided into three categories, 29-44, 45-64, and 65 and above.
Overall
, more men of all
ages
are the sufferer of heart attacks in America as compared to
women
. The most prone age group is seniors in their mid-sixties,
whereas
adults until
mid-forties
Correct pronoun usage
their mid-forties
show examples
are at the least risk of
this
, especially
women
. Evidently,
according to
the bar graph, 440
thousands
Correct your spelling
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men get a cardiac attack at the age of 65 and more,
while
women
are a little lower in number with 374
thousand
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same age group.
Ages
range from 45 to 64; the substantial amount of
males
is almost equally at risk as category 65+, with 424
thousand
,
whereas
merely 136
thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
are encountering
this
issue.
Lastly
, the
third
case is from
ages
29 to 44, people lying in
this
range are less vulnerable to
catch
Wrong verb form
catching
show examples
this
disease, mainly females are negligible as compared to
males
with only 3000,
whereas
males
are significantly high in number with 123
thousand
.
Submitted by preetvinay19 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand, males, ages, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • occurrence
  • prevalence
  • age group
  • gender disparities
  • notable trends
  • significant
  • comparison
  • discrepancies
  • patterns
  • statistics
  • demographics
  • rate of incidence
  • proportion
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