IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Employer sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employer #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
There are two views about some queries which are asked by employers from employees about personal
information
,
for example
 their passion in terms of advantages and relationship.Personally, I believe that the benefits of
this
 method do outweigh the drawbacks. Actually, asking questions of people who intend to
work
 in a position is the best way for employers in order to find that interviewees can do some assignments in terms of hardship, tolerance, and so on, these are the things employers would definitely be fascinated by.
Furthermore
, through
this
 way they can recognize the interest of employees so as to consider a relevant position for them. What is more, if employers have some
information
 about employees they can prepare some facilities for them and
also
 stimulate them to do their workloads in terms of quality and
work
 productivity as well.
On the other hand
, some people have the opinion that
this
 matter is futile. In fact, companies and offices need some essential
information
 of people,
such
 as
work
 experience, education, skills, and so on. These people may think that personal
information
 is a privacy or worthless for employers.
Moreover
, they do not like to care about people who apply for jobs, in fact, they only expect to see the results of
work
 and
also
 efficiency. In conclusion, in my view, all employers should ask personal
information
 from employees to make a harmonious atmosphere for them due to improvements in jobs and
also
 produce motivation for workers.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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