IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Demand for food is increasing world wide. What is the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

Food
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 necessity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
. As the population is increasing day by day, ultimately, the demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 increasing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
. To cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the need of of the eatables, international communities can take some
steps
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
.
Lets
Use the right word
Let's
show examples
 discuss in the following paragraphs. First and foremost,
food
Use synonyms
 is the basic need for all of us to survive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is taken in many forms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 vegetarian and non-vegetarian.
Basic
Correct article usage
The basic
show examples
 cause of the increasing demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 is the high mortality rate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is quite obvious that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 demand is supply
is somewhere
Verb problem
are
show examples
 directly proportional to each other. So, to meet
this
Linking Words
, there should be increases in the production of the
eatable
Correct word choice
edible
show examples
 things,
for instance
Linking Words
, pulses, cereals, vegetables, fruits, meat and dairy products.
Likewise
Linking Words
, these communities have to take some mandatory
steps
Use synonyms
 to increase the production and supply of these products.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
now a day
Use the right word
nowadays
show examples
, a lot of company employees and students
ordered
Wrong verb form
order
show examples
 their
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 from outside and
due to
Linking Words
 unknown reasons
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 taste, texture and
some time
Use the right word
sometimes
show examples
 quantity
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not meet up to
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result,
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 through that
food
Use synonyms
. As far as, some
steps
Use synonyms
 should be taken to stop the wastage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government should put some rules or
fine
Fix the agreement mistake
fines
show examples
 against the drugging of
food
Use synonyms
.
As well as
Linking Words
, some
food
Use synonyms
 awareness
Use synonyms
food
Check wording
apply
show examples
can be organised for the public, so that people
should
Verb problem
can
show examples
 help the neediest with
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of throwing them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, no one survives without
food
Use synonyms
, so international communities can take the essential
steps
Use synonyms
 towards
the increase in
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
agriculture produce
Replace the word
agricultural production
show examples
 by raising funds from the government.

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overall
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with the cause, then the effect, and finally what the world can do.
structure
Have a short, clear introduction. Say what you will talk about in this essay.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Use a topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
accuracy
Check facts. The link between death rate and demand is not clear. Use true ideas.
coherence
Use simple linking words like and, also, but, so to help flow.
language
Keep ideas short and on one line when needed. Avoid long, hard sentences.
content
The essay shows a clear aim to cover both causes and steps.
content
It mentions many foods as examples of good farming acts.
structure
It uses paragraphs to split ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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