IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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There is no doubt that the role of investing long working hours is a debatable question.
Therefore
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, a myriad of work enthusiasts spend the majority of their
time
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 with work and tend not to spare any free hours for their luxury.
This
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 essay will state some difficulties, which have been produced from
this
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 approach, and highlight pertinent examples
accordingly
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. One concern is that ardent public and private employees often remain productive throughout their
career
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, though they might have not excelled much as they expect to be, especially in terms of promotion, incentives, and bonuses.
This
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 partly occurs because a human brain, which is not under pressure, generates a better result usually when it keeps engaged with activities other than work. To give an illustrative example, many billionaires,
such
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 as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and so on still manage
time
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 to be with their families and to read books.
In addition
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, job-related stress and anxiety puts individuals to possess many health complications that might be detrimental to one's
career
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. Another demerit is that serious staffs often seem to be forgetful not only about their social life, but
also
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 about their social network in order to enable a
career
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 progression.
However
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, as these people concentrate their free
time
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 on the official task rather than any leisure activities, families and friends start distancing themselves, despite being honest and loyal.
For instance
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, a few children cannot bond with their working parents, because of the workaholic behaviour.
As a result
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, a number of internal challenges would grow between family members and an employee and it may gear towards a divorce for a couple sometimes. In conclusion, workers are often regarded as sufferers because they focus heavily on their
career
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 trajectory and limit themselves from any kind of social activity, whereas top notch executives spend a quality leisure
time
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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