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Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause, and what are the solutions?

#people #employment
In recent years, competition is increasing
between
Suggestion
among
 young people and
the old
Suggestion
older
 who are searching for
same
Suggestion
the same job
job
. It causes some negative consequences and steps should be taken to tackle
this
 problem. There are some problems occur when the young and
old are
Accept comma addition
old, are
 struggling to get the
job
.
First
 of all, elderly people are not very
adaptive
Suggestion
adaptable
 and creative as
youngers
a scheming person; someone who schemes to gain an advantage
anglers
infers
 are and they do not very energetic to do
work
 like younger. They may find some difficulties with
usage
Suggestion
the usage
 of technology and to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 the requirements of company which could affect on their health and they might suffer both physically and psychologically. Older people have more difficulties to find a
job
 even when they have
same qualifications
Suggestion
the same qualifications
 as younger and
have
Suggestion
has
experience
also
. While, some employers prefer older people with higher working
experience
 rather than younger who have just graduated and having no
work
experience
 and good communication skills. To solve
this
 problem government should take some initiative in
effective way
Suggestion
an effective way
. Government
should encourages
Suggestion
should encourage
 self-employment for fresh graduates so they can create
job
 opportunities themselves.
Then
 the retirement age should be
decreased which
Accept comma addition
decreased, which
 reduce the pressure of competition the young have to face. Another possible way is to allocate more money to
pension system
Suggestion
the pension system
 because who find their pension sufficient for a living will not have to find a
work
.
Moreover
, younger people and government should support
older person
Suggestion
older people
the older person
 to use new technologies so they can do
work
 well. In conclusion, some problems occur in competition of youth and old to get
job
Suggestion
jobs
 like technology and
experience
related but
Accept comma addition
related, but
 it can be solved by taking some measures like decrease retirement age and increase pension.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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