Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause, and what are the solutions?

#people #employment

In recent years, competition is increasing

between

Suggestion

among

young people and

the old

Suggestion

older

who are searching for

same

Suggestion

the same job

job

. It causes some negative consequences and steps should be taken to tackle

this

problem. There are some problems occur when the young and

old are

Accept comma addition

old, are

struggling to get the

job

First

of all, elderly people are not very

adaptive

Suggestion

adaptable

and creative as

youngers

a scheming person; someone who schemes to gain an advantage

anglers

infers

are and they do not very energetic to do

work

like younger. They may find some difficulties with

usage

Suggestion

the usage

of technology and to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

the requirements of company which could affect on their health and they might suffer both physically and psychologically. Older people have more difficulties to find a

job

even when they have

same qualifications

Suggestion

the same qualifications

as younger and

have

Suggestion

has

experience

also

. While, some employers prefer older people with higher working

experience

rather than younger who have just graduated and having no

work

experience

and good communication skills. To solve

this

problem government should take some initiative in

effective way

Suggestion

an effective way

. Government

should encourages

Suggestion

should encourage

self-employment for fresh graduates so they can create

job

opportunities themselves.

Then

the retirement age should be

decreased which

Accept comma addition

decreased, which

reduce the pressure of competition the young have to face. Another possible way is to allocate more money to

pension system

Suggestion

the pension system

because who find their pension sufficient for a living will not have to find a

work

Moreover

, younger people and government should support

older person

Suggestion

older people

the older person

to use new technologies so they can do

work

well. In conclusion, some problems occur in competition of youth and old to get

job

Suggestion

jobs

like technology and

experience

related but

Accept comma addition

related, but

it can be solved by taking some measures like decrease retirement age and increase pension.

Thu Apr 30 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problems does this cause, and what are the solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution.

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.