Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sports play an indispensable role in our lives and professional
sportsmen
become heroes for many
people
,
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
teenagers. They would like to imitate the way these stars dress, act and live their lives.
Although
many top athletes are good role models and responsible citizens, others are not
deversing
Correct your spelling
deserving
of their role model status. On the one hand, professional athletes are excellent inspirational
people
who prefer to watch sports or engage in sport-related activities.
This
can be elucidated by the fact that individuals admire their
sportsmen
whose characters help them to learn about valuable life lessons
such
as teamwork, goal setting,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
reality of dealing with success and failure.
Moreover
, these personalities can make them
undestand
Correct your spelling
understand
the importance of working hard to achieve a goal or
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
regularly to become good at something. It can be said that
this
is a great example for the youth to follow their idol.
However
, it is undeniable that a few great athletes can make adolescents misunderstand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sportsmanship.
For example
, many top
sportsmen
reached a level of fame which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them attract media attention or social attention, or even earn large financial benefits.
As a result
, teenagers love sports because they focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fame and wealth rather than on the fun of the games or on the challenge of learning how to play well.
In addition
, some
sportsmen
behave badly, including
some cheat
Wrong verb form
cheating
show examples
to win
their
Change preposition
over their
show examples
compitors or taking drugs to improve their
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
. Eventually,
this
kind of behaviour can send wrong messages to children. With all
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
arguments, I think that young
people
can make an attempt to catch all
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
figures of their favourite
sportsmen
but they should not try to repeat all of their idols’ lives because every professor has good and bad
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
show examples
. All
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
can agree that there is no
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ideal person in the world.
Submitted by minnguyen1792004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: