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Writing Samples
Band 5

Should children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better for them to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these views and give your own answer.

#children #sports #activities #people
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Children education is undoubtedly a fundamental issue in modern society, since it represents a major field where governments could invest.
As a result
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 of
this
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, a number of people
continues
Suggestion
continue
 to discuss about different formation methods, including competitive and co-operational systems. Many supporters of competition argue that children, as adults, are prone to express their real capabilities in a challenging environment. These
claim
Suggestion
claims
 that human beings are inherently competitive, since at the beginning of their
history they
Accept comma addition
history, they
 were constrained to survive in poverty of resources where taking advantages
on
Suggestion
of
 others was crucial. As a consequence of
this
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 natural instinct, encouraging competition may be a way of letting the most talented children emerge. The positive results of concurrence in
economy
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the economy
, in
this
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 view, might demonstrate how a system based on it could conduce to significant
attainments
Suggestion
attain
attaining
.
Nevertheless
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, an increasing number of experts espouse a wholly different approach. They believe that children should learn how to collaborate amongst them, not only to accomplish a particular result, but
also
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 to develop some characteristics, including empathy and a comprehensive attitude. According to them, modern democratic society would broadly benefit if its citizens acted with common intents. To illustrate
this
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, it is worth considering how an array of Silicon Valley societies
recruit
Suggestion
recruits
 people capable of working in
team
Suggestion
teams
a team
 in order to attain increasing profits. On balance, numerous ideas still gravitate towards
this
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debate influencing
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debate, influencing
 countries’ approaches around the globe.
However
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, human relationships should not be considered as a zero-sum game, since co-operation is able to offer better performances in the long haul.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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