Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country's health budget a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
The most cost-effective methods for distributing a nation's healthcare budget have often been debated. Indeed, many people have argued that prevention is far better than cure and a considerable amount of it should be shifted from
treatment
to health
education and disease prevention. Personally speaking, this
is a very sensible approach for saving public money
in the long run. Diverting a large part of the healthcare budget to fund health
education seems a very practical measure which can save money
in the long term. I would advocate more funds for school programs or public information campaigns to educate all citizens on how to lead a healthy and safe lifestyle, like a sensible diet, regular exercise and road safety. This
is likely to result in fewer people becoming seriously ill with common diseases such
as obesity or hypertension or injured
in road accidents. If Add a missing verb
being injured
this
is done, it has to eventually reduce the expensive treatment
costs for public health
services. Besides
that, it is important to allocate a significant proportion of healthcare funding for preventive measures because, again, it would cut costs in the long-run
. Correct your spelling
long run
For example
, an increase in the amount spent on research into essential vaccines to prevent serious infectious diseases, such
as Malaria, and HIV, which affect millions of people annually and require expensive treatment
. Again, if more money
was invested into preventing common diseases, less would be required for their treatment
and that can only save money
in the future. In summary, more government funding on
Change preposition
for
health
education and preventative measures is likely to cut treatment
costs and save public money
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite