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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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It is undeniable fact that since the technology makes the communication and transportation more accessible, people are getting more
engage
Suggestion
engaged
 in their professional life and left a little
time
Use synonyms
 for the other activities. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 situation has more benefits than drawbacks. On the one side, working in long shifts might have
corrosive effect
Suggestion
a corrosive effect
corrosive effects
 on the health. Recent survey stated that most of the people suffer from back pain, and stress due to long sitting hours. Example,
sometime
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
 they have to wake up late night due to the
time
Use synonyms
 difference in another country which affect their sleep.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending more
time
Use synonyms
 working in office
also
Linking Words
 disrupts their personal life. Most of the working people could not able to give enough
time
Use synonyms
 to their parents and the children. Their negative effect is that their children caught up in bad
company
Use synonyms
 or choose the wrong platform due to lack of understanding and communication with the children. On the other side, the advantage of working long hours is that people can save more money. Companies give double money per hours to their employer who work more than their normal working hours.
For example
Linking Words
, In India people believe that having more saving would help them to survive in darkest days
such
Linking Words
 as recession, any pandemic situation, and in medication. Another benefit is that working long hours shows the employee dedication and hard work for the
company
Use synonyms
 and sometime it
turn
Suggestion
turns
 out to be the biggest factor for annual
bonuses
Suggestion
bonus
 percentage which is estimated by
number
Suggestion
the number
 of working hours of the employers. Addition to
this
Linking Words
, Sometime people working so hard to achieve the
company
Use synonyms
 goal. For an instance, every sales person has to hit the no.
of
Suggestion
Of
 sales by the end of the quarter and if they achieve it successfully,
then
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
offer
Suggestion
offers
 them oversees tour package. With
this
Linking Words
 they can enjoy their work and other leisure activities. In conclusion, working long hours is good if you have an aim to achieve
something but
Accept comma addition
something, but
 it is
also
Linking Words
 important to maintain balance between professional and personal life as well as enjoy the other relaxation activities.
Submitted by sahilg35 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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