Many people believe that primary education should also teach arts and music, not only science and mathematics. Do you agree or disagree?

Learning extracurricular activities
such
as
art
and
music
always been essential in an attempt to enhance kid’s creativity in a real human context.
As a result
, children should not be deprived of having
music
and
art
in the primary education.
However
, these kinds of activities should not be prioritized as the main subjects should be in priority.
Hence
, I
am absolutely agree
Suggestion
absolutely agree
have absolutely agreed
with the given idea. Having engaged with
music
, children will observe a significant brain development.
Kids
Suggestion
Kids'
learning
music
were more successful in
IQ test
Suggestion
IQ tests
an IQ test
, which shows how
music
can improve one’s ability.
On the other hand
,
music
has been an important agent of socialization as it connects children with their peers in which having
music
bands and groups are required to learn working in a team.
In addition
, it can
relive
provide physical relief, as from pain
relieve
stress which is highly likely to be seen by students during exams, so being in touch with melodies are useful in the quizzes time period to be far from stress.
Also
, a person doing well in
this
field would feel
sense
Suggestion
a sense
the sense
of achievement which would arise self-confidence. It is self confidence that
demonstrate
Suggestion
demonstrates
how powerful a person is.
Furthermore
,
music
plays an important role in emotional development which might be significantly important in the future of a young person. On the other side, knowing
art
can improve the power of imagination, creativity and expression. Drawing Is another way to interact with others and showing your thoughts in the artistic context.
Also
,
art
provide
Suggestion
provides
challenges for children and it shows them how to overcome them.
On the other hand
, students participating in arts classes have more
leaderships
Suggestion
leadership
skills,
such
as decision making.
Moreover
,
arts
Suggestion
the arts
teach methods to learn language skills. To sum up, both
music
and
art
should be taught throughout the college to the kids in order to achieve success in the adulthood, as they help to brain development, improvement in self-confidence and most importantly being far from stress.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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