IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #fear #streets #robberies #houses #person #security #support
It is true that a growing number of people are scared of robbery and thefts while on
streets but
Suggestion
the streets, but
the streets but
 there are
also
 many instances of housebreaking and burglary. Few measures a person can take to avoid
such
 thefts are setting an alarm system
,
Accept space
,
having a pet dog. Cops can
also
 take few steps to avoid
such
 incidents by increasing their patrolling. The breaking and entering of the houses can be avoided by setting up of alarm systems which alert the
house
 owner when someone try to break the security of the
house
. Setting up of
alarm system
Suggestion
an alarm system
alarm systems
 will
also
 make the
house
 secure even when the person is outside for longer periods of time.People can
also
 have a pet dog which will alert the owner when some unfamiliar person try to break into the
house
. It's not just the
houses even
Accept comma addition
houses, even
 the cases of shoplifting can to be
curb
Suggestion
curbed
 to an extent by installing CCTV cameras in the shops. The government and the cops can
also
 take few measures to avoid
such
 crimes. The Cops can increase the time of patrolling in the areas where there is
increase
Suggestion
an increase
the increase
 in the number of
burglary
Suggestion
burglaries
 and shoplifting crimes. The government can install the cameras in the areas where
such
 crimes
are on high and
Suggestion
are on high and also imposing
are on high and also imposed
are on high and also impose
also
 impose high
penalities
the act of punishing
penalties
 and punishments on the criminals to avoid thefts and robberies. In conclusion, the government and the individuals should collectively take measures to avoid street and
house
 robberies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: