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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries many women no longer feel the need to get married . Some people believe this is because women are able to earn thier own Income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring

#countries #women #people #thier #income #security #marriage
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Marriage
Use synonyms
 is one of the beautiful relationships and is essential to lead a happy life.In our today's fast paced world, along with advancement in technology and sciences, people's thoughts regarding family and relationships are
also
Linking Words
 changing. In most of the countries, women are
denying
Suggestion
denied
 to get married and they no longer feel the urge to get married as they are
financialy
from a financial point of view
financially
financial
 secured.I wholeheartedly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 and will outline the reasons about why women are not interested in
marriage
Use synonyms
 and explain the beauty
marriage
Use synonyms
 Presently, globally there is gender equality and women empowerment has been enforced enabling
high
Suggestion
higher
 job opportunities to women as compared to
past
Suggestion
the past
. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost thing is
,
Accept space
,
In the ancient times, women were oppressed by men and didn'
t
Use synonyms
 have the freedom to go out to study and work and were dependant.But now, with the change in times, women are stepping out of the four walls of their houses and showing their metal in every field.Women have become independent and has the capability to survive alone without male's support.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they think they will have lots of restrictions and responsibilities of household in a married Life making them feel suffocated.
For example
Linking Words
, an unmarried
women
Suggestion
woman
 can go anywhere, anytime and do whatever she wants to
do whereas
Accept comma addition
do, whereas
 a married
women
Suggestion
woman
 has got few responsibilities to deal with, like doing the works said by husband and in-laws and can'
t
Use synonyms
 go out whenever she wants to.In short
,
Accept space
,
they want freedom
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, present women are educated and are financially strong to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their requirements and think they no longer need man's support for their survival.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
marriage
Use synonyms
 is one of the blessed relationships where two souls and bodies are met to stay happily together sharing love and compassion.
Lord
Suggestion
The lord
 almighty has bestowed mercy upon humans and has given the concept of
marriage
Use synonyms
 to spend together for a lifetime.
For example
Linking Words
, as we all know from our religious scriptures, that Lord almighty has created Adam and Eve and has given them provisions to reside together in a paradise.
This
Linking Words
 shows that, it's a precious relationship where men and women are dependent on each other. On the whole,
marriage
Use synonyms
 gives a sense of security where
patners
a person's partner in marriage
partners
 can abide eternally by supporting each other in every phase of their life. To conclude, in
this
Linking Words
 era educated women are financially independent
doens'
does not
doesn't
t
Use synonyms
 like to get married as they want to be free from restrictions and
responsibilities but
Accept comma addition
responsibilities, but
 they shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 forget their cultural and traditional values about the
marriage
Use synonyms
 to have a secured and warm life.
Submitted by sumu.ashu95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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