IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #children #skills #car #maintenance #bank #account #management #subjects
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It is sometimes thought that as well as taking academic education at school, children should attain some practical skills
such
 as maintaining the car, opening the bank account and
etcetera
. I completely agree with the idea that children must
also
 focus on the learning practice skills along with study academically. There are some obvious reasons why I understand that
in addition
 the academic study, practical skills must be taught to children.
Firstly
, after
learn
Suggestion
learning
 practical skills, they will become more self-dependant than they are. In detail, when children learn practical skills, they become able to do their most of
work
Suggestion
the work
 themselves and no need to remain dependent on others.
For
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
 children have a car and they learn some basic skills
such
 as filling fuel, reading meters and so on, no need to get help of other expect than rare cases
Secondly
, with to be skilled, they will
to
to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
too
 have great opportunities of employment in the future.
In other words
, in order to retain jobs, applicant should have qualifications and practical skills are demanded by employers.
Hence
, if children start to learn
practical skill
Suggestion
practical skills
a practical skill
 from childhood, will have more chances to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 these demands and secure the job.
For example
, the computer is being used in almost everywhere and
therefore
 to learn
use
Suggestion
using
 it put forward applicant, seeking the job, ahead those of who have not
such
 skills. To conclude, in my perspective, because of being skilled
make
Suggestion
makes
 children more dependent and put forward in the way of getting jobs, they need to give attention the learning skills
additionally
 with the academic study.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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