Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an satisfactory job or shortage of money.Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation

Nowadays demanding for
money
is increasing, while some people prefer to accept a poor situation like shortage of
money
and bad working conditions, while
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
agree with those who believe that it is better to earn much
money
for two reasons On the one hand, accepting a poor situation and less
job
salary can be
also
the best option for people.
Nowadays most
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, most
people
is trying
Suggestion
are trying
to earn much
money
,
as a result
, it causes
diiferent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
kinds of health problems,
such
as chronic stress, weaker performance, inability to concentrate.
For example
,
Accept space
,
chronic stress can be due to work pressure. People
always wants
Suggestion
always want
are always wanting
to find
well-paid
Suggestion
a well-paid job
job
and become wealthy.
Furthermore
, it has been shown that people who don't work under pressure,
coukd
requests polite permission
could
live longer that others
Although
people
could't
could not
couldn't
could
afford to buy
expensive car
Suggestion
expensive cars
an expensive car
amd
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
cutting-age technologies, they tend to live in a healthy
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
. It plays
crucial role
Suggestion
a crucial role
in their working life.
On the other hand
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
would agree with those who
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believes
believed
that people should get
more competetive salary
Suggestion
a more competitive salary
more competitive salary
and find
rewarding
Suggestion
rewarding jobs
a rewarding job
job
in their field.
As a result
, it creates
opportunites
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
to lead a comfortable life and improve their overall living standards
.
Accept space
.
If people couldn't make much
money
in their field, they should invest
money
in other fields.
For example
, if people set up a business, they make a profit, as their business grows, they can hire employees, it creates to earn much
money
than others.
Furthemore
in addition
Furthermore
, most people feel more motivated by earning much
money
,
Accept space
,
as a result
they reach their real potential.
Finally
, wealthy people can help
also
other people, who is trying to lift out of poverty. In coclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that people should work in a low salary
job
and poor situations, my own vies is that people must make much
money
than ever

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: