IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK CERTAIN PRISONERS SHOULD BE MADE TO BE UNPAID COMMUNITY WORK MATERIAL OF BEING PUT BEHIND BARS.

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Certain demographics of
society
Use synonyms
 believe that prisoners should be used for appropriate cause. The punishment should be in
such
Linking Words
 a way where criminals are made to serve
society
Use synonyms
 rather than being in prison.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue why
this
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 theory is not applicable in all cases. Few populate
anticipate
Suggestion
anticipates
 that the person who has
commited
a statement that expresses a personal opinion or belief or adds information
commented
committed
on
Suggestion
to
 me, should provide less services to the
society
Use synonyms
. They have reason to believe that by doing so the person will be deprived of not only time but
also
Linking Words
 the liberty of freedom. For an instance, the one who commits an
offense
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offence
 against the law is being sentenced to serve the community for 500 hours.
Linking Words
Hence they
Accept comma addition
Hence, they
 will
loose
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
lose
 time and will gain profit out of it.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that as they have to abide by the law, they cannot enjoy
power
Suggestion
the power
 of choice. They just have to deliver their services to
society
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
 offenders will be rehabilitated and integrated back into
society
Use synonyms
.
This
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 will benefit young people who followed
wrong path
Suggestion
the wrong path
.
On the other hand
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, in certain community unpaid public services
is considered
Suggestion
are considered
 as the most lenient form of penalty. They aver that the lawbreakers cause to the
society
Use synonyms
 are liability
instead
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 of
asset
Suggestion
an asset
assets
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the penalty should be imposed in accordance with the crime
commited
bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude
committed
. For an instance if the homicide in the prison. Those criminal
are
Suggestion
is
 neither merciful nor capable of delivering services to
community
Suggestion
the community
communities
. They will always bring
distraction
the termination of something by causing so much damage to it that it cannot be repaired or no longer exists
destruction
.
As a result
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. ,
malefactor
Suggestion
male factor
are
Suggestion
is
 to be kept in detention. To recapitulate, the essay discussed two sides of a coin; whether keeping criminals behind bars is the option or they should be
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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