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Band 5

Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both side and then give your opinion

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions #side
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
education
Use synonyms
 is
very essential thing
Suggestion
a very essential thing
.Many people believe that colleges and universities must have to concentrate on ready the students for
futur
the time yet to come
future
further
 Jobes.But on
other hand people
Suggestion
the other hand people
also
Linking Words
 think that that there are many other valuable things on which
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 have to focus.In my opinion
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
also
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 have to
encroge
contribute to the progress or growth of
encourage
 students for extra activities.
However
Linking Words
, every coin has two
side
Suggestion
sides
(
Accept space
(
one is positive and other is
negetative
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
)
Accept space
)
. If
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
is only try
Suggestion
only tries
 to ready students for
employment
Accept comma addition
employment, then
then
Linking Words
 students can'
t
Use synonyms
 gain any other important experience. Which they must have to learn in their student life like sports, music etc.
Use synonyms
Education
Suggestion
The education system
system
Use synonyms
 is responsible to make
student
Suggestion
the student
students
 confident for problems of real life.
For example
Linking Words
, if colleges only focus on
employment
Accept comma addition
employment, then
then
Linking Words
 students can'
t
Use synonyms
 learn what they have to do if they don'
t
Use synonyms
 get
job
Suggestion
jobs
 after graduation.
In addition
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, there are many other factors on which
education
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 must have to provide knowledge to the students
such
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 as time management and how to make
your self
reflexive form of "you"
yourself
 stable In difficult time. Because these are few golden
besic
a relation that provides the foundation for something
basis
 fundamentalists of life. In 2008, one government research shows that 45% people divide
whoonly
Suggestion
who only
 focus on their placement and get their jobs right away after graduation.
Main reason
Suggestion
The main reason
 why they don'
t
Use synonyms
 survive is that
thay
people in general
they
that
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 know how to get stable in difficult time. To conclude,
Use synonyms
education
Suggestion
the education system
system
Use synonyms
 must have to focus on other activities rather than only focus on how to prepare students for placement. Because if students have
knowledge
Suggestion
the knowledge
then
Linking Words
 they can
easy
Suggestion
easily
 get jobs without any placement.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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