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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the production of electricity in a hydroelectric
power
 station.
Overall
, the process begins with the
water
flows
Wrong verb form
flowing
show examples
 from
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 into a high-level
reservoir
 and ends with the transmission of
power
 lines to
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
generator
.
If
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 can be clearly seen that
the first step is
collect
Fix the infinitive
to collect
show examples
water
 in a high-level
reservoir
. When the generation begins, the
water
 passes through an intake which is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of
dam
Add an article
the dam
show examples
. The intake opens
in
Change preposition
during
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day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
allows
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
 the flow of
water
 to generate electricity and is closed at night
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the
water
 flows out into the river below the dam during pumping.
The
next
 step is the transportation of
water
 into
a reversible turbines
Correct the article-noun agreement
a reversible turbine
reversible turbines
show examples
, which is connected
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
generator
 in
power
Add an article
a power
the power
show examples
 station. In
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
, the
generator
 is operated that permits
water
 to flow down into
low-level
Correct article usage
a low-level
show examples
reservoir
,
while
 at night, the reversible turbines pump
water
 into
high-level
Add an article
the high-level
a high-level
show examples
reservoir
.
Finally
, the
generator
 in the
power
 station is linked with
power
 lines which are used to transport electricity to
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
generator
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words power, water, reservoir, generator with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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