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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates the production of electricity in a hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 station.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process begins with the
water
Use synonyms
flows
Wrong verb form
flowing
show examples
 from
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 into a high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 and ends with the transmission of
power
Use synonyms
 lines to
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
generator
Use synonyms
.
If
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
 can be clearly seen that
the first step is
Linking Words
collect
Fix the infinitive
to collect
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 in a high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
. When the generation begins, the
water
Use synonyms
 passes through an intake which is
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of
dam
Add an article
the dam
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. The intake opens
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
allows
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
 the flow of
water
Use synonyms
 to generate electricity and is closed at night
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 flows out into the river below the dam during pumping.
The
Linking Words
next
Linking Words
 step is the transportation of
water
Use synonyms
 into
a reversible turbines
Correct the article-noun agreement
a reversible turbine
reversible turbines
show examples
, which is connected
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
generator
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
power
Add an article
a power
the power
show examples
 station. In
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
, the
generator
Use synonyms
 is operated that permits
water
Use synonyms
 to flow down into
low-level
Correct article usage
a low-level
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 at night, the reversible turbines pump
water
Use synonyms
 into
high-level
Add an article
the high-level
a high-level
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
generator
Use synonyms
 in the
power
Use synonyms
 station is linked with
power
Use synonyms
 lines which are used to transport electricity to
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
generator
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words power, water, reservoir, generator with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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