IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.

The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.
#steel #rods #furniture #industry
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The diagram demonstrates the process
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 which steel rods are produced in the furniture industry.
This
Linking Words
 process includes 10 steps
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 with raw materials, Iron
ore
Use synonyms
, yellow
ore
Use synonyms
, and carbon and
ends
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 with
Add an article
the
an
show examples
inspection.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, a raw material composed of iron
ore
Use synonyms
, yellow
ore
Use synonyms
 and carbon is Entered
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the melting slite
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
temperature
Correct article usage
a temperature
show examples
 of 1300-1500°C.
Then
Linking Words
 it is refined in the smelting cabin,
afterward
Correct word choice
and afterward
show examples
, via a pouring machine, it
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 into
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ingot pour. In the
next
Linking Words
 stage, metal
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 cold.
Infact
Correct your spelling
In fact
 ingots link with a cooling reservoir and via
a nozzles
Correct the article-noun agreement
nozzles
a nozzle
show examples
 of strands
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 60-100°C.
Then
Linking Words
 it is called and
convey
Wrong verb form
conveyed
show examples
 to a Heating machine,
then
Linking Words
, its surface is checked by measuring automaton.
Linking Words
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 step regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
size which
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
siz
Correct your spelling
size
 is
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a cutter
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shaped after that it is turned to ID stamping and
finally
Linking Words
 to inspection.
To sum up
Linking Words
, a steel
rod
Fix the agreement mistake
rods
show examples
 are manufactured
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 some raw materials which at first
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
heated for melting
then
Linking Words
 it is refined and via
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ingot pour and cooling in a strand is heated
agin
Correct your spelling
again
. After shaped it is ready to use.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ore with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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