The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.

#steel #rods #furniture #industry

The diagram demonstrates the process

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which steel rods are produced in the furniture industry.

This

process includes 10 steps

started

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starting

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with raw materials, Iron

ore

, yellow

ore

, and carbon and

ends

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ending

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with

Add an article

the

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inspection.

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the beginning, a raw material composed of iron

ore

, yellow

ore

and carbon is Entered

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into

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the melting slite

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temperature

Correct article usage

a temperature

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of 1300-1500°C.

Then

it is refined in the smelting cabin,

afterward

Correct word choice

and afterward

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, via a pouring machine, it

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goes

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into

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ingot pour. In the

stage, metal

become

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becomes

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cold.

Infact

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In fact

ingots link with a cooling reservoir and via

a nozzles

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nozzles

a nozzle

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of strands

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60-100°C.

Then

it is called and

convey

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conveyed

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to a Heating machine,

then

, its surface is checked by measuring automaton.

Correct article usage

The next

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step regarding

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apply

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size which

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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siz

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size

controled

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controlled

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

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apply

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a cutter

Unnecessary verb

apply

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shaped after that it is turned to ID stamping and

finally

to inspection.

To sum up

, a steel

rod

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rods

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are manufactured

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with

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some raw materials which at first

Unnecessary verb

apply

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heated for melting

then

it is refined and via

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ingot pour and cooling in a strand is heated

agin

Correct your spelling

again

. After shaped it is ready to use.

Sun May 03 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ore with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

188 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways.

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?