The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.

#steel #rods #furniture #industry

The diagram demonstrates the process

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show examples

which steel rods are produced in the furniture industry.

This

process includes 10 steps

started

Wrong verb form

starting

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with raw materials, Iron

ore

, yellow

ore

, and carbon and

ends

Wrong verb form

ending

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with

Add an article

the

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inspection.

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the beginning, a raw material composed of iron

ore

, yellow

ore

and carbon is Entered

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into

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the melting slite

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temperature

Correct article usage

a temperature

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of 1300-1500°C.

Then

it is refined in the smelting cabin,

afterward

Correct word choice

and afterward

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, via a pouring machine, it

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goes

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into

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ingot pour. In the

stage, metal

become

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becomes

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cold.

Infact

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In fact

ingots link with a cooling reservoir and via

a nozzles

Correct the article-noun agreement

nozzles

a nozzle

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of strands

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60-100°C.

Then

it is called and

convey

Wrong verb form

conveyed

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to a Heating machine,

then

, its surface is checked by measuring automaton.

Correct article usage

The next

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step regarding

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apply

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size which

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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siz

Correct your spelling

size

controled

Correct your spelling

controlled

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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a cutter

Unnecessary verb

apply

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shaped after that it is turned to ID stamping and

finally

to inspection.

To sum up

, a steel

rod

Fix the agreement mistake

rods

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are manufactured

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with

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some raw materials which at first

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

heated for melting

then

it is refined and via

Change the article

show examples

ingot pour and cooling in a strand is heated

agin

Correct your spelling

again

. After shaped it is ready to use.

Sun May 03 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ore with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

188 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram illustrates how steel rods are manufactured in furniture industry.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most importaint aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of old people.

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?