In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occured? Do you think their parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays, young professionals
has
Suggestion
have
more
time
with friends more than their families.
This
has happened due to
age
gaps, but
this
can be resolved by not forcing them to stay at home
instead
, by allocating a bonding
time
for the entire family. Currently, youngsters
spends
Suggestion
spend
more
time
with peers for the reason that they can relate better to each other compared at home which is due to
age
difference. Young people who are on the same
age
group can more understand each other as they have similar interest.
For example
,
highschool
Suggestion
high school
students are in
critical stage
Suggestion
a critical stage
critical stages
the critical stage
of maturity in which they are looking for
belongingness
Accept comma addition
belongings, thus
belongings thus
thus
, they tend to open up with their friends less than to their parents. Young adults in the modern world are providing less attention to their own families as they are always out with
group
Suggestion
a group
of friends. An authoritarian way of pushing them to stay could cause more
trouble
Accept comma addition
trouble, however
however
, in a softer approach of showing concern to have a scheduled family bonding could catch their attention.
For instance
, parents in Indiana, USA prefer not to work on Sundays to make sure they can enjoy the family day with loved ones.
This
has been proven to improve their relationship with each family
members
Suggestion
member
. In conclusion, young adults in the recent years are indeed finding their comfortable friendship outside their
home
Suggestion
home, thus
thus
, providing less
time
to their families, because of gap in
age
.
However
, managing to bond with their respective families would be
beneficial
Suggestion
more beneficial
than pushing them to just stay in the house.
Submitted by shiezdc25 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
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