The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Therefore, governments should spend more money on educating people about healthy lifestyles instead of curing illnesses. How far do you agree with this statement?

#prevention #health #treatment #medicine #governments #money #people #lifestyles #illnesses

Comparing with curing the ailment, it is crucial that governments ought to put medical budgets on preventing health issues and informing people to have a healthy lifestyle. I personally believe it and the reasons for

this

are twofold.

Firstly

, building up a much stronger immune system can support people to defeat any diseases.

This

should start at doing exercise regularly and having a balanced diet. If people take good care of their bodies and minds well, I believe the government could cost less money on a patient's treatment.

Therefore

, when it comes to a global pandemic, more people are able to overcome it and fewer people would die. Another reason for

this

is that it is very difficult to find any cures within a limited period.

For example

, when many people get ill, which has a high death rate, many scientists typically need more time to find antidotes or create vaccines as viruses are changing all the time. As a consequence, some patients do not have enough time to wait for heals and

then

end up mortality. In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that governments should spend money on health education rather than medical care,

although

both have its vitally important part of benefits for humans.

Submitted by becky12259376 on Sun May 03 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The prevention of health problems is more important than treatment and medicine. Therefore, governments should spend more money on educating people about healthy lifestyles instead of curing illnesses. How far do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some cities although more and more people use public transport the roads are still crowded. How can this problem solved? provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some cities, bicycle are replacing cars. What are the reason for this for these developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.