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Band 4.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
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Success
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 is often measured by
wealth
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 and material belongings. Do you think
wealth
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 is the best measure of
success
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? What makes a successful
person
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?   It is often argued that
success
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 is frequently associated with richness or a
high
Suggestion
higher
 financial status. Personally,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think it is not the main part of
success
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,
although
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 there are several factors that define or make people
prosperious
in fortunate circumstances financially; moderately rich
prosperous
.     Regarding the
wealth
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 as the best indicator of
success
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,
overwhelming majority
Suggestion
the overwhelming majority
 of people probably consider a
success
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 in accordance with the financial stability and they do not take into account that
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person
Suggestion
the person
a person
people
 could inherit the
wealth
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 and status of their successful ancestor. As an illustrative
example can
Accept comma addition
example, can
 be dynasties in which the affluence was inherited by several generations.
Therefore
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,
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,
cannot be compared due to the presence of several factors,
such
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 as health conditions
,
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,
 knowledge and dream career that make a
person
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 successful in life.  
Hence
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, money is not
ultimate goal
Suggestion
the ultimate goal
an ultimate goal
 of every
person
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.    The
success
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 is explained by a number of other factors, apart from
wealth
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.
Firstly
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,
Accept space
,
 good relationship with family members and friends. Respect and support
from
Suggestion
for
 them is motivate
person
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 to chase the goals and keep
focus
Suggestion
focused
 on them. Along with
this
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gream
the best people or things in a group
cream
grim
green
 work is
also
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indicator
Suggestion
indicative
 of
success
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, which gives delightful feeling in life.
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in
Suggestion
In
 addition to these facts, 
also
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 have good health is a good combination to consider 
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person
Suggestion
the person
a person
people
 as a successful one.
Finally
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,
Accept space
,
 people whose private life and work are balanced
,
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,
 they are happier than the rich individuals, who surely have money to buy anything in the world, but lack peace of mind.    Overall, it is sensible to conclude that here is
variaty
a collection containing a variety of sorts of things
variety
 ways to consider a
person
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’s
success
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. 
Wealth
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 is not the effective way to measure
success
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 as there are many other factors like
good relationship
Suggestion
a good relationship
 with people, health and dream job that make a
person
Use synonyms
 successful.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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