IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women joining the workforce?

#st #century #women #home #workforce
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In earlier times, male and female social roles were clearly distributed: a man was considered a getter and a woman was a keeper of a hearth, but recently under the influence of emancipation and economic factors the situation in society has changed dramatically.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of working women and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of working women are having a job with a good salary makes a woman independent and interesting events charge women’s life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
 guarantees independence from a husband. Unfortunately, no one will know that the spouse will never abandon or leave without a livelihood. Now there are many cases when after a divorce, housewives with children remain in poor housing conditions and cannot make ends meet.
Secondly
Linking Words
, modern statistics show that working women are much less likely to suffer from protracted depression than housewives.
This
Linking Words
 is explained by the fact that
work
Use synonyms
 allows to be distracted from everyday problems, makes it possible for self-realization, strengthens the sense of self-worth. But working women
Linking Words
also has
Suggestion
also have
 a major disadvantage like chronic fatigue. More often women struggle to combine
work
Use synonyms
 and family responsibilities even to the detriment of their own relaxation and health.
As a result
Linking Words
, they have practically no free time left that could be devoted to the restoration of the expended forces. Selfless workers constantly feel tired and overwhelmed. And after some time,
as a result
Linking Words
 of chronic overstrain of the body, they develop various minor ailments. To conclude, each medal has two sides. At
first
Linking Words
 glance, the situation may seem like a dead end - a woman sacrificing her family for
work
Use synonyms
, but in fact job allows women being independent and socially active.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: