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Band 6.5

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #video #games #devices #society
In recent years, there is a growing recognition of the impact of the popularity of
entertainment
such
 as video games on handheld devices on the
pe
Suggestion
with
ople, especially teenagers. The issue of whether these kinds of
entertainment
 have negative effects on the individual and the society they live in is open to debate. In my point of view, while I accept that there are some drawbacks of these types of
entertainment
, I believe that it could bring benefits to our lives. On the one hand, the availability of
entertainment
 could bring advantages to the economy in many ways.
First
, for those who often work under pressure, playing games would effectively relieve the stress since there would be many challenges and interactions between the players in the games, which could help them temporarily forget about the stressful things.
Therefore
, it would substantially contribute to the improvement of their mental health, which is a critical factor in their productivity at work.
Thus
,
this
 would allow them to bring success to the company they work for and make significant innovation for the
ec
Suggestion
in
onomy.
Second
, with the increase in popularity of
entertainment
, there would be more jobs created in
this
 profession.
As a result
, the rate of unemployment would be reduced;
hence
,
this
 would benefit the economy.
On the other hand
,
entertainment
 on handheld devices brings about various negative impacts on health. Since playing video games on handheld devices involves the players to constantly look at the monitor for a period of time,
this
 could give rise to the damages of some organs
such
 as eyes.
Besides
, there is
also
 a connection between lack of exercise and obesity, which would make people vulnerable to other diseases. In conclusion,
entertainment
 may bring disadvantages, but it is likely to be helpful if we play in consistent ways.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • social isolation
  • interpersonal skills
  • violent content
  • desensitizing
  • cognitive benefits
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving skills
  • educational value
  • stress relief
  • emotional well-being
  • social connections
  • portable entertainment
  • global communities
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