IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the changes in car ownership in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010

The chart below shows the changes in car ownership in Great Britain between 2000 and 2010
The line chart provided shows some striking differences in the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 used in the UK between 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 single or more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 two
cars
Use synonyms
 increased during the period
while
Linking Words
 those who have no
car
Use synonyms
 decreased considerably. In 2000 there were approximately 65% of people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not have
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 to travel, about
Use synonyms
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
Linking Words
 had
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 and no
one
Use synonyms
 had two or more
cars
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 ten years
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 significant changes in
car
Use synonyms
 ownership. The percentage of people
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
show examples
 no
car
Use synonyms
 dropped dramatically
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 35% in 2001, a decline
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 29%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 two
cars
Use synonyms
 increased steeply to somewhere in the vicinity of 15% and
then
Linking Words
 doubled in 2008.
Finally
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Use synonyms
one
Add a hyphen
one-car
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 users experienced some remarkable fluctuation. The trend went up sharply and reached a peak of 50% in 1981 before decreasing slowly during the
next
Linking Words
 ten years. Contributes to
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 overtook those with no auto and became the highest for all
car
Use synonyms
 owners.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, car, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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