Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

Celebrating festivals is one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
great ways of keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
culture and heritage alive. During
Add an article
the
show examples
festive season, the authorities spend
humongous
Correct article usage
a humongous
show examples
amount
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
celebration
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
show examples
which causes apprehension among
people
that the money can be infused for the upliftment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by providing better healthcare and educational opportunities. I
coincides
Change the verb form
coincide
show examples
with
this
apprehension about
this
expenditure behaviour. A good quality healthcare system
possess
Change the verb form
possesses
show examples
more intrinsic value than enjoying firecrackers.It allows poor
people
to take treatments for their ailments rather
continuing
Change preposition
than continuing
show examples
their sufferings.
Better
Correct article usage
A better
show examples
hospital in every city with extensive bed capacity and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
team of qualified doctors can not only provide the availability of
multipspeciality
Correct your spelling
multispeciality
multispecialty
multi-speciality
treatments under one roof
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
prepares the nation for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rainy days like
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
show examples
or endemic conditions. In India ,
for example
, the Uttar -Pradesh government spent 527 crore rupees to lit candles on the occasion of Diwali
last
year, but during
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
Encephalitis endemic they didn’t have
enoungh
Correct your spelling
enough
capacity to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
patients in the government hospitals. It is great to express gratitude towards one’s customs but not at the expense of other’s distress. Education
also
has
commensurate
Add an article
a commensurate
show examples
role to play in
public’s
Correct article usage
the public’s
show examples
sorrow. Lack of education
shackle
Correct subject-verb agreement
shackles
show examples
the horizon of knowledge and
restrict
Correct subject-verb agreement
restricts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal growth.
Besides
, unskilled masses miss the opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
employment which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
to their destitution.
According to
recent
Add an article
a recent
the recent
show examples
report shared by NSO, India has
Correct article usage
an unemployement
show examples
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
rate of approximately 6.1%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is nearly 10
crores
Fix the agreement mistake
crore
show examples
people
. All thanks to the lax learning infrastructure.
Hence
, confined skill
aquiring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
opportunities not only can restrain from gaining knowledge
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
can push
people
below the poverty line.
Although
, one should respect the traditions and
people
should celebrate the functions as it disseminate joy to the society, ignoring the
requitsites
Correct your spelling
requirements
like
eductaional availabilty
Correct your spelling
educational availability
and the advanced healthcare sector is not justifiable. I firmly believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
extravagant celebrations should be put on the back burner and
stive
Correct your spelling
strive
show examples
for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
place to live with enough earning chances and less pain.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: