IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people's values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think one the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art?

#time #art #part #cultures #world #people #values #science #technology #business #arts #attention
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is obvious that
art
Use synonyms
 has been located in the middle of all cultures around the World for many years.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays many of us have been drawing more attention to scientific, technological and economic field for
last
Linking Words
 ten years. I think that there are some reasons why people's values have changed and how measures might be taken to tackle with
this
Linking Words
 situation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the reasons is parents are forcing their children to study science areas because they think that the artists creating masterpieces could not make the proper amount of money for living and
also
Linking Words
 they see the arts as a hobby.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
second
Linking Words
 reason is that science and business create more job opportunities and sustain economies so governments do not support people who are interested in
art
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 why day by day amount of artists has been decreasing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some measures should be taken in order to draw attention to the arts. Personally, governments and societies are responsible to solve out
this
Linking Words
 issue. One of the ways to figure out with
this
Linking Words
 situation is to advocate the role of
art
Use synonyms
 in human culture, lifestyle and how it exists in daily life. And
Linking Words
second solution
Suggestion
the second solution
 is that governments should create jobs in
this
Linking Words
 sector by opening more
art
Use synonyms
 galleries, organizing exhibitions and cultural programmes.
This
Linking Words
 will encourage more students to pursue
art
Use synonyms
 at schools and colleges. To sum up,
art
Use synonyms
 has been taken less attention rather than technology, science and the other economic fields, but governments and communities should notice and analyse what are the reasons and how they can face with
this
Linking Words
 circumstance. Personally, if they not, they may lose their cultural heritage and values.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: