Some people say the government should not put money into building theaters and sports stadiums, they should spend more money on medical care and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree this opinion?

Entertainment is a part of human life. Millions of individuals, every day
either
Punctuation problem
, either
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watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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theatre
and
Correct word choice
or
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playing
Wrong verb form
play
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sports
Use synonyms
to keep themselves fit and fine.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to know whether a government should allocate funds for those recreation
activities
Use synonyms
or not.
Although
Linking Words
some people
ascertain
Verb problem
assert
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that
Correct article usage
the administrative
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administrative primary
Correct word order
primary administrative
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responsibility
to
Verb problem
is to
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spend money only on education and medical facilities as basic needs, I believe that some portion of
Correct article usage
the budgets
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budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
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should
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
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on art and
sports
Use synonyms
both
Punctuation problem
, both
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for educational and medical
strength
Check wording
purposes
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. Indeed, many children
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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who are involved in physical
activities
Use synonyms
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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high scores because a sound mind lives in a sound body. Without games and entertainment, life becomes dull, which can affect the productive thinking of students. It is necessary to enhance the productivity of
Correct article usage
the brains
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brains
Fix the agreement mistake
brain
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that can be achieved by
sports
Use synonyms
and features
Linking Words
According
Punctuation problem
. According
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to a report of
Human
Correct article usage
the Human
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Resource Department
India
Change preposition
of India
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, 70% students are performing exceptionally well in academics because they are regularly participating in
sports
Use synonyms
activities
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.
Thus
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, Art and sport help to achieve the goal of the government to educate the public. Undoubtedly, happiness makes a person's health better. Many people
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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pleasure whenever they watch a live drama in theatres or in a stadium they see their favourite players.
Also
Linking Words
, happiness not only saves them from many diseases
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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but
also
Linking Words
expands their lifespan. Arguably, a person who always feels delighted by arts and
sports
Use synonyms
live
Replace the word
lives
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30% longer than
who
Check wording
someone who
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always lives a life without any recreational
activities
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is required for the bureaucrats to allocate some funds for leisure
activities
Use synonyms
, whereby the burden on healthcare systems could be reduced. In conclusion, art and
sports
Use synonyms
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are equally pertinent as education and
health
Correct article usage
the health
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system because all these
activities
Use synonyms
are making a positive impact on human
well beings
Use the right word
well-being
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. With the help of that administrative body can achieve their
long-run
Correct word choice
long-term
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targets of making aware and healthy citizens.

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task response
Make your view clear at the start and stay on it. State your extent of agreement in one sentence.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and group related ideas. Use simple linking words like also, but, however to show order.
examples
Give more real and simple examples to back up your idea. If you use facts, keep them simple and believable.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form. Fix run-on and long sentences. Use short, clear sentences.
lexical
Choose words that fit the idea. Avoid rare or long words that may confuse.
stance
The writer shows a clear view that art and sport can help health and learning.
argument
The essay gives reason why art and sport can help the state reach its goal.
examples
There is some use of examples to back up points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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