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Writing Samples
Band 7

To the right is a line graph which shows the number of farms and farm workers in the United States from 1910 – 2000. Describe the information in the graph.

To the right is a line graph which shows the number of farms and farm workers in the United States from 1910 – 2000. Describe the information in the graph.
The graph shows how many
farms
Use synonyms
 and
farm
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 there were in the US between 1910 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a huge decline in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
farms
Use synonyms
 and
farm
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 over the period. It can clearly be seen that both numbers started to decrease, and stabilized at the same time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were about 6.3
million
Use synonyms
farms
Use synonyms
 in 1910.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable until 1930
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it started to rise over the
next
Linking Words
 five years to reach seven
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, after 1935, the figure began to decrease significantly to two
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Then
Linking Words
, from 1990 to 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
 seems to have levelled off at two
million
Use synonyms
farms
Use synonyms
. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farm
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
, approximately 13.5
million
Use synonyms
 people were working
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
farm
Use synonyms
 in 1910.
Then
Linking Words
, after ten years of constancy, the
number
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight fall of about one
million
Use synonyms
, before it increased a bit to reach 12.9
million
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 in 1935. From 1935, as the
number
Use synonyms
 of
farms
Use synonyms
, the figure began to drop dramatically to reach 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990. From that point, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
farm
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 remained constant at 3
million
Use synonyms
 for the final years of the period, following the same stability as the
number
Use synonyms
 of
farms
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words farms, farm, workers, number, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • steadily declined
  • sharp decrease
  • fluctuated
  • peaked
  • plateaued
  • consistent downward trend
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • notable increase
  • plunge
  • coincide
  • drastically
  • proportionally
  • trends
  • timeline
  • significant change
  • marked difference
  • fell dramatically
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