Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage the employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

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The soaring unemployment rate has been a huge problem for many governments nowadays. Some people suggest that senior employees over 55 should be encouraged to retire so that they can make room for young people. Personally, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea. It is true that if many elder people leave their jobs when reaching a certain

age

Use synonyms

, more vacancies will be available, and

then

Linking Words

young people are able to secure a job easily.

This

Linking Words

will greatly reduce the unemployment rate in the society.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, with

more young

Suggestion

younger

employees, enterprises can be more dynamic because young people tend to be more creative and innovative.

However

Linking Words

, I believe setting 55 as the retirement

age

Use synonyms

is inappropriate.

Firstly

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, 55 is too young for most healthy adults to retire today. Modern people’s life expectancy has significantly improved

as a result

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of the advances in science and medicine. It is not reasonable to ask healthy senior citizens, especially those who have great expertise, to stop working at

such

Linking Words

a young

age

Use synonyms

. On top of that,

their

Suggestion

they're

leaving could give rise to the shortage of skilled labour force, which

subsequently

Linking Words

would have an adverse impact on the efficiency and productivity of a company.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if those who are still competent for their job were required to go home just because they are 55, they would perhaps feel unvalued and discriminated against.

This

Linking Words

might push them into depression and affect their mental wellbeing eventually. In conclusion, encouraging old staff to retire at the

age

Use synonyms

of 55 can help boost employment among young people and invigorate the company, but in my opinion, it is neither

fair

Suggestion

fairly

nor reasonable for many specialized senior employees and their companies.

nadiamelinda99Mon May 04 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to the new generation, companies should encourage the employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as parctical problems. to what extent do you agree or dis agree with this statement

Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.