IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

24. In some countries, young people are encouraged to work and travel for a year finishing high school and starting university study. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for your people who decide to do it

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #study #advantage
Nowadays, many students opt to take one
year
 for
work
 and travel between the high school and university.
This
 essay will discuss both positive and
negatives
Suggestion
negative
 aspects of
this
 and provide relevant examples.
First
 of all, taking one
year
 for
work
 and travelling will allow new students to earn money before the university life. It is evident that the studying at the high - education place requires a big amount of money if you do not have a scholarship. Students want to live comfortably without their parents and the one
year
 of working can help them to insure themselves.
Secondly
,
such
 period
will
Suggestion
will be
 the best choice if you want to gain a new job experience. The future students - the future workers, and it is great when they have a perception of how the industry works and maybe they will change their minds and decide not to go to the university or get a
high
Suggestion
higher
 education.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks of taking
gap
Suggestion
a gap year
the gap year
gap years
year
.
To begin
, young people can prefer to continue the job because they do no have to study anything. They feel themselves comfortable and it is not needed to go somewhere to study;
however
, education is important in our life and these people can do the
work
 and study altogether. Another problem of
gap
Suggestion
the gap year
a gap year
year
 is that not everyone can afford
this
. Travelling is an expensive hobby and
as a result
, people who took the
gap
year
 do nothing.
Such
 students do not
work
 or travel, they spend their time by playing computer games and hanging out with their friends. In conclusion,
Although
 the
gap
year
 can effect in a good way for teenagers,
such
 as job experience and independent from parents, it can be bad if they pass
this
year
 by doing non-useful things like clubs and playing computer games.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: