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Band 3.5

Nowadays, entertainers get paid more than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a negative or positive development? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#entertainers #politicians #development
In our days no can deny
this
 fact that showmen’s get a higher salary than people in politics. There are several reasons, the main reason that people prefer to
spent
Suggestion
spend
 time by watching movies, listening to music, enjoying good performances
instead
 of monitor domestic or civics problems.
Definitely I
Accept comma addition
Definitely, I
 absolutely agree with
this
 statement. On the one hand, with developing technological resources like TV, Smartphone’s, Internet, people watch more TV shows, concerts, films.
Furthermore artists
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, artists
, singers,
snowmakers
 try to do more interesting projects to catch attention of clients,
consequently
 have earned every browsing by viewers.
For example
, the most popular singer and actress Jennifer Lopes made a film “Hustlers”
last
 year and earned 20 million dollars, continues to do it every time when somebody watch
this
 film by internet. As for
politicians most
Accept comma addition
politicians, most
 of their lives on monthly income without extra paid.
On the other hand
, most of showmen are active internet users, they often create pages on social media
such
 as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
,
Accept space
,
 in order to promote
different type
Suggestion
different types
 of products like a clothes, meals, cosmetics and get an additional earnings from companies
besides
 the main income. Unfortunately for politicians any extra payment accepted like a corruption. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
 nowadays, majority preference of people has been
a
Suggestion
an
 entertainment,
therefore
 entertainers have been paid more than politicians.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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