IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown in the diagram.

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown in the diagram.
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The given diagram explains how
sun emitted
Add a hyphen
sun-emitted
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 energy gets trapped in our atmosphere
due to
Linking Words
 the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
effect
Use synonyms
. It is evident that logging of trees and fossil
fuel driven
Add a hyphen
fuel-driven
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 vehicles worsen the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
effect
Use synonyms
. Getting back to the details, sunlight that reaches the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
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 surface creates
heats
Fix the agreement mistake
heat
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 and a large portion of
this
Linking Words
 heat was supposed to radiate back to Space without any hindrance.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is not the case and a great proportion of heat energy remains on earth
due to
Linking Words
 different
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gases. Though some sunlight is reflected off our atmosphere for the presence of the white cloud in the sky, a large portion of the heat created by sunlight rays
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not leave the surface. Tree logging is a reason for
enhanced
Correct article usage
the enhanced
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greenhouse
Use synonyms
effect
Use synonyms
 as less tree means less absorption of CO2, which is the main gas of
Use synonyms
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
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 problem. Another aspect that enhances the average surface temperature by contributing to
Use synonyms
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
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 phenomenon is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fossil fuel.
This
Linking Words
 fuel is used to run different water and Highland vehicles and is responsible for the increasing emission of carbon dioxide gas. It is evident that to reduce the average temperature which is basically generated by the
greenhouse
Use synonyms
effect
Use synonyms
, we need more trees and less use of fossil fuels to drive our cars and ships.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words greenhouse, effect with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural process
  • greenhouse effect
  • Earth's surface
  • sun's energy
  • atmosphere
  • reflected
  • absorbed
  • re-radiated
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon dioxide
  • methane
  • nitrous oxide
  • water vapour
  • ultraviolet radiation
  • infrared radiation
  • fossil fuel burning
  • deforestation
  • concentration
  • global warming
  • melting ice caps
  • glaciers
  • rising sea levels
  • extreme weather patterns
  • mitigating
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