IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates,protein and fat in three different diets.

the table below gives information on the proportion of carbohydrates,protein and fat in three different diets.
The information illustrated in the three pie charts
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 comparisons
the
Change preposition
of the
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 percentage of carbohydrates, protein and fat falling into three separate diets. When looking at the graph, it is obvious that sports players need a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 with
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 ratio of carbohydrates than an average
diet
Use synonyms
 and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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diet
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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 people who don't take part in sports,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of fat in
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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diet
Use synonyms
 for sport is lower than an average
diet
Use synonyms
 and healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 . To be more specific, the rate of carbohydrates in a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 for sport makes up the highest, reaching a prevalent level of 60%.
This
Linking Words
 is
sixth - fifth
Correct your spelling
sixth-fifth
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 compared to that of a usual healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 and
third
Linking Words
-
second
Linking Words
 in comparison with that of an average
diet
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in place of people
plays
Wrong verb form
playing
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Add an article
a sport
the sport
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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,
average
Correct article usage
an average
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diet
Use synonyms
 and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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diet
Use synonyms
 with fat for normal people are more favoured. One of the considerable points,
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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similar proportion of fat in
average
Add an article
the average
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diet
Use synonyms
 and healthy
diet
Use synonyms
, at 20%.
Besides
Linking Words
, the ratio of protein consumed
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 up gradually from 25% in
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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diet
Use synonyms
 for sports players to 40% in an average
diet
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words diet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparisons" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • carbohydrates
  • protein
  • fat
  • diet
  • nutrition
  • balanced diet
  • energy intake
  • high-protein
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • health effects
  • saturated fats
  • unsaturated fats
  • suitability
  • fitness goals
  • health conditions
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