The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates the number of males and females who graduated in Canada between 1992 and
until
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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2007 in the regular interval of two.
Initially
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
women
Change noun form
women's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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graduation counts
were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

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steadily increased from nearly 100,000 in 1992 to 105,000 in 1995. After that, it started slowly dropping from nearly 1996 to 2001 by approximately two
percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it rose sharply
till
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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over the
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

; meanwhile, it remained relatively stable in 2004. With regards to male graduates, tally with almost 70,000 in 1992 and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it gradually increased by around a count of 5000 within 2.5 years. From 1998 to 2002
as
Correct your spelling
was

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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considered
fluctuation
Correct article usage
a fluctuation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it substantially increased over the
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number of
males
Fix the agreement mistake
male

It seems that males may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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Correct pronoun usage
who graduated

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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graduated
Wrong verb form
graduates

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb graduated. Consider changing it.

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counts outnumbered the female counts throughout the
period
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

both
genders
Change noun form
gender's
genders'

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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individual
timeline
Fix the agreement mistake
timelines

It seems that timeline may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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showed similar fluctuation.
Submitted by r.menaka.m on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
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