people should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country

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It is often argued that the immigration becomes a good chance to settle down as starting the

second

Linking Words

life. Some people might think that

inhabitants

Suggestion

the inhabitants

must respect the native rules when they begin to stay in a new nation. In my opinion,

although

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following the culture of

new country

Suggestion

the new country

a new country

is required, I strongly disagree with the idea.

This

Linking Words

essay will address the perspective of immigration.

First

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of all, new inhabitants should stay up to not lose their identity. When people settle down to a new country, they might think proud of their cultures because immigration does not mean to throw away their own position.

For example

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, they teach their children about own customs and traditions to continue the

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generation because maintaining culture is to keep the identity as an immigrant.

Moreover

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, they might suffer the mental disease when it comes to following new customs.

In other words

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, when immigrants intend the traditions of the new country, they might be going to be weak mentally due to the conflict of the cultural differences.

For instance

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, when they struggle the rules to choose, their mentality might be confused and it leads some mental disease

such

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as depression and homesick because they have to choose the rules which is complicated.

Therefore

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this

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phenomenon would deteriorate their new life with mental conflict. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that respecting native customs and traditions are necessary, we need to encourage immigrants to hold their own cultures. And

also

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, they must stand up to be proud of themselves for their new life.

Submitted by 01074332347 on Thu May 07 2020

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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people should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree.

Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

In today's societies, young people need more freedom to learn and explore the world on their own. others think that they learn from old people from their experiences and suggestion. Do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?