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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.

The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.
#uk #acid #rain #emissions #millions #tonnes #four #sectors
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The line graph compares four sectors in terms of the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
acid
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rain
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emissions
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 that they produced over a period of 17 years in the UK.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the total amount of
acid
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rain
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emissions
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 in the UK fell considerably between 1990 and 2007. The most dramatic decrease was seen in the electricity, gas and water supply
sector
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. In 1990, around 3.3
million
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tonnes
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 of
acid
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rain
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emissions
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 came from the electricity, gas and water
sector
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. The transport and communication
sector
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 was
respondible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for about 0.7
million
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tonnes
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 of
emissions
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,
while
Linking Words
 the domestic
sector
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 produced around 0.6
million
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tonnes
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. Just over 2
million
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tonnes
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 of
acid
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rain
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 gases came from other industries.
Emissions
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 from electricity, gas and water supply fell dramatically to only 0.5
million
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tonnes
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 in 2007, a drop of almost 3
million
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tonnes
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.
While
Linking Words
acid
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rain
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 gases from the domestic
sector
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 and other industries fell gradually, the transport
sector
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 saw a small increase in
emissions
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, reaching a peak of 1
million
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tonnes
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 in 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words acid, rain, emissions, sector, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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