Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person's decision making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In several parts of the world, there is a lack of
students
choosing to study discipline in universities. There are a sum of causative factors contributing to
this
new phenomenon, and it can have some adverse impacts on society. There are several reasons Why fewer
academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
students
are choosing science as their major.
Firstly
, these
subjects
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
usually difficult.
That is
to say, since these
subjects
are harder to understand as compared to the other courses offered at universities,
students
might have to spend more time
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. As a direct result, they would find the idea of choosing other
subjects
far more appealing which allows them to have more free time. Take physics
students
as the most patently obvious examples, they have to do numerous projects
as
Well
Fix capitalization
well
show examples
as conduct too many experiences which prevent them from having free time.
Secondly
,
this
type of
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
is taught wrongly at universities.
That is
, as these
subjects
are not taught in the right way at university in
widely
Replace the word
a wide
show examples
number of countries, it does not attract
students
to participate.
For instance
, almost
science
Correct determiner usage
all science
show examples
subjects
at university are theory and without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exciting experiments
as a result
student rarely find their passion in science.
However
,
this
tendency might bring about some negative effects on society. The first impact is that when fewer
students
decide to learn about discipline, there would be a serious shortage of employees working in these fields.
This
would lead to fewer technological developments
as
Well
Fix capitalization
well
show examples
as
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
improvements in people”s life quality.
For example
, it would be difficult for humans to produce newer
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
with better
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
.
Additionally
,
While
a remarkably jumping number of
students
are choosing other
subjects
as their major in the academy, the number of job vacancies in
this
area is limited. Many educational institution graduates,
therefore
, would have to face unemployment, which increases
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
on society. By way of conclusion, the shortage of
students
choosing learning
subjects
is caused by several factors, and
this
predicament might bring about serious impacts.
Submitted by mqswdtlayyfr on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your arguments to ensure a more coherent flow of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses the task prompt and includes clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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