Some think spending a lot on birthday celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #birthday #celebration #weddings #waste #money #people #society

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People’s opinions seem to differ on whether spending

money

Use synonyms

lavishly on

celebrations

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and special occasions is a positive trend or a mere

wastage

Replace the word

waste

show examples

of wealth.

While

Linking Words

some seem to agree with the argument that it is necessary for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, I believe that

such

Linking Words

unmindful spending should rather be avoided.

To begin

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with, there are myriad reasons to argue that spending loads of capital on weddings and other special occasions is quite unnecessary.

Firstly

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, in most of today’s

Use synonyms

celebrations

Add a comma

celebrations,

show examples

there is a deliberate show of power and easy cash.

Such

Linking Words

extensive

celebrations

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are no better than pomp shows.

Secondly

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of spending huge amounts of

money

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on any celebration, it is better to save it and later invest it in better ways.

For instance

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of spending lots of

money

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on a child’s first birthday party in a five-star hotel, it is better to save it for his/her higher education.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, sometimes spending on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and house warming

also

Linking Words

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

a social obligation for many people and they give in to the societal pressure

spending

Change preposition

of spending

show examples

their hard-earned

money

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, people who argue that it is imperative to have grand

celebrations

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opine / insist that it is a way of enjoying life with their family and friends. They feel that

such

Linking Words

celebrations

Use synonyms

are part of their customs and traditions.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may be true to a certain extent, in my opinion, there is no need to spend

truck loads

Correct your spelling

truckloads

show examples

money

Use synonyms

celebrations

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, a birthday party held at home can be as enjoyable as the one held at a

five star

Add a hyphen

five-star

show examples

hotel and yet it costs much less.

To conclude

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, I feel that unmindful spending on any occasion can be avoided.

Instead

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that

money

Use synonyms

should be saved or used in a better way.

Sat May 09 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

While your essay is well-structured overall, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow even further.

Task Achievement

Try to include more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments, especially when talking about societal pressure and customs.

Coherence and Cohesion

You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your viewpoint from the beginning.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses both perspectives of the argument effectively, providing a balanced view.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Some think spending a lot on birthday celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many Museums charge for admission while others do not. Do you think that the advantages of charging people into the museum out weights the disadvantages ?