Some think spending a lot on birthday celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People’s opinions seem to differ on whether spending
money
lavishly on celebrations
and special occasions is a positive trend or a mere wastage
of wealth. Replace the word
waste
While
some seem to agree with the argument that it is necessary for the
society, I believe that Correct article usage
apply
such
unmindful spending should rather be avoided.
To begin
with, there are myriad reasons to argue that spending loads of capital on weddings and other special occasions is quite unnecessary. Firstly
, in most of today’s celebrations
there is a deliberate show of power and easy cash. Add a comma
celebrations,
Such
extensive celebrations
are no better than pomp shows. Secondly
, instead
of spending huge amounts of money
on any celebration, it is better to save it and later invest it in better ways. For instance
, instead
of spending lots of money
on a child’s first birthday party in a five-star hotel, it is better to save it for his/her higher education. Furthermore
, sometimes spending on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and house warming also
become
a social obligation for many people and they give in to the societal pressure Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
spending
their hard-earned Change preposition
of spending
money
.
On the other hand
, people who argue that it is imperative to have grand celebrations
opine / insist that it is a way of enjoying life with their family and friends. They feel that such
celebrations
are part of their customs and traditions. While
this
may be true to a certain extent, in my opinion, there is no need to spend truck loads
of Correct your spelling
truckloads
money
on celebrations
. For example
, a birthday party held at home can be as enjoyable as the one held at a five star
hotel and yet it costs much less.
Add a hyphen
five-star
To conclude
, I feel that unmindful spending on any occasion can be avoided. Instead
that money
should be saved or used in a better way.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured overall, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow even further.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments, especially when talking about societal pressure and customs.
Coherence and Cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your viewpoint from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both perspectives of the argument effectively, providing a balanced view.
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