IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believes that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
Although
 it is considered by some
people
 that the best way to
securing
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
 a good job is
being
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
 a
university
 graduate, there are others who think that starting
work
 after school is a better option. From my perspective, deciding to
work
 is beneficial in the field of business,
whereas
 completing
university
 coursework is the most useful in an academic career. On the one hand, it is attractive to find
work
 after school
according to
 some
people
 because they will have the opportunity to gain hands-on experience related to their chosen profession and acquire top soft skills
such
 as time management, leadership and flexibility.
This
 results in promotions and a successful career.
For example
, not only has the job market been increasingly becoming competitive, but there is
also
 an overwhelming number of applicants for one position in a company.
Therefore
, it is commonly believed by some
people
 that learning key soft skills can be valuable to a company and having relevant experience in that line of
work
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can put one ahead of the game when they apply for the position.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that it is more advantageous to pursue higher education after school. Since obtaining a
university
 certificate is an indicator of perseverance, passion and commitment needed to study a degree course for three or four years, a
university
 degree is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convincing proof of the competence of the applicants.
As a result
, most employers will be more impressed by candidates who have qualifications from a
university
 than those with fewer qualifications, which in turn leads
university
 graduates not only to better job opportunities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 to higher incomes. In conclusion, even though
people
 may vary in their opinions, I think that being a successful career requires
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 relevant background either in tertiary education or
work
 experience depending on the type of
work
 and field.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Writing Style
Protect the essay from becoming repetitive by varying your language/thematic connections. It will help more expressively convey your points.
Content
Ensure to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
Grammar
Review and edit your work to eliminate any small grammatical errors for an even cleaner presentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: