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Band 6.5

Nowadays, people work too hard. What is the reason for this? What should employers do to prevent employees from overworking?

#people #work #reason #employers #employees
Jobs have become more challenging in recent years, and many are forced to
work
 long hours. The reason behind overworking and the solution to tackle
this
 problem will be
further
 discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, the main reason that leads to excessive working is the inflation of the prices due to the economic recession.
For example
,
Accept space
,
in Egypt, in 2010, all the merchandises' prices were almost doubled due to the revolution, which decreased the value of the Egyptian pound at that time.
This
 forces people to
work
 extra hours to meet the fast increase in expenditures.
Consequently
, the time spent in the job places was extended.
Nevertheless
, managers can have a pivotal role in the solution of extra working hours. If they are able to divide the total profit of the company among their employees,
this
 may aid in deducting the long hours of working. Take the Coca-Cola company, in Canada as a prime example, during the COVID-19 catastrophe the recruiters decided to give their labourers a bonus from the previous annual profit of the agency to reduce the working hours and prevent the spread of the infection.
Therefore
,
owners aided
Accept comma addition
owners, aided
 in decreasing the burden on their staff members, and allow them to have a better quality of life. In conclusion,
although
 people tend to
work
 in a tough manner due to the recent economic crises all over the globe and the continuous rise of the prices, a fundamental role can be offered via the employers to shorten the time needed to
work
 through the increase of the remuneration provided.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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