An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs.

#children #terms #health #care #costs

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays a lot of children in their early ages overweight because of

this

Linking Words

people

Suggestion

person

could face with questions with

health

Use synonyms

and financial support of treatment in the future.There are many reasons of being overweight and solutions which could deal with

health

Use synonyms

problems

Accept space

On the

one

Use synonyms

hand

Accept space

obesity among children is the biggest problem in the world and there are many reasons of being overweight

Accept space

Overweightness

Suggestion

Overweights

is generally caused

Suggestion

are generally caused

by eating too much and moving too little

Accept space

These

days many

Accept comma addition

days, many

individuals are busy with their scheduled duties because of

this

Linking Words

, they cannot stay at their home and look after their children and cook

food

Use synonyms

Accept space

it means that children need to eat fast

food

Use synonyms

or ready

food

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of homemade

food

Use synonyms

Accept space

Fast

food

Use synonyms

rich with greasy

Accept space

stodgy ingredients

such

Linking Words

Accept space

oil

Accept space

meat

Accept space

which increase the risk of heart disease and sugary diabetes

Accept space

Moreover

Linking Words

, children do not do exercises or physical activities to burn out calories after consuming

high amount

Suggestion

high amounts

a high amount

of fat and sugar

Accept space

There is no doubt that

reasons

Suggestion

the reasons

mentioned above will lead to significant

health

Use synonyms

problems

Accept space

Nevertheless

Linking Words

Accept space

there is much can be done to tackle with these

health

Use synonyms

issues

Accept space

If parents looked after their children and show examples of

Use synonyms

health

Suggestion

healthy

lifestyle

Accept space

told disadvantages of eating high calories

Accept space

children would not be overweight

Accept space

Parents should donate a lot of time and money to their children because it is hard to find organic

food

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

feasible solution is government should promote disadvantages of being overweight by social media and advertisements because these days everyone has cutting edge devices and a lot of children kill most of their time sitting in front of computer or social media. In conclusion

Accept space

the given topic is considered to be

one

Use synonyms

of the most controversial and discussed ones

Accept space

one

Use synonyms

will be overweight if

avoid

Suggestion

avoids

causes

Suggestion

causing

which mentioned above and follow solutions.

Submitted by alchikenovasymbat on Mon May 11 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There are different views on whether undergraduate students should be versatile and explore other subjects, or dedicate fully to their major and pursue a qualification. I believe that it would be worthwhile for young students to follow their curiosity and take up things that they are interested in.
5
band
Some people think that goverment is responsilbe for crime prevention. Others think that individuals are responsible to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although some argue that the government ought to be accountable for reducing crime, others say that it is the duty of individuals to safeguard themselves. In my opinion, I consider that the state plays a significant role in preventing crime from happening.
6.5
band
Some old people today's struggle with the use of modern technology such as smartphone and computers. what is the cause of this? what are the some possible solutions?
Nowadays in modern lifestyle, technology has become an integral part of human lives. The use of smartphones and computers makes people's life more easier in order to accomplish their daily tasks or jobs. However, especially for some elderly people, still face struggles with the use of modern technology.
4.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Although it is thought that History is a crucial lesson in school, other people believe that more focused should be on other subjects. While history could be useful for students, from my point view some other fields are more vital. Such a mixed blessing requires further examination into a wider context.
4.5
band
Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The earth has been destroyed due to over-exploitation of the environment. It is argued that the government has the responsibility to take care of the environment while others think that it is the people task. In my opinion, while the government working on environmental laws and policies, promoting eco-friendly movement could be done by the people. A collaborations is needed to save the environment.

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that goverment is responsilbe for crime prevention. Others think that individuals are responsible to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some old people today's struggle with the use of modern technology such as smartphone and computers. what is the cause of this? what are the some possible solutions?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.