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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children’s #activities #children #freedom
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Many hold that children should be supervised strictly by their parents, while others claim it would be much better to give them more autonomy. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides and give my own opinion. On the one hand, taking their youngsters under close
control
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 is one of the
responsibilites
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibilities
 of parents. Strict
control
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 might play a big role in their offspring's
upbringing
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, through which they are brought up to behave well when they reach adulthood.
Secondly
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, strict
upbringing
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, in my perspective, may lead children to become more responsible. Because via
this
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 way, they are used to behave according to their parent's words.
Therefore
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, the close
control
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 is the essential part of
upbringing
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 young people.
On the other hand
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, it might be appropriate to give them more autonomy. The reason for
that is
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 constant close
control
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 might cause children to lose their faith in most things as they do what their parents say.
For example
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, they may cease performing their
avtivities
any specific behavior
activities
 which they are fascinated due to what their parent say.
As a result
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 of
this
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, they lose interest to do them. In order to avoid
this
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 from being happened, young kids should be given freedom
in particular
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 extent. In conclusion, both restricted autonomy and giving independence to children while
upbringing
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 process have advantages as well as bad sides. While via close
control
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, children become more responsible, through being autonomous, they can do what they want, which may serve good things in
thier
of them or themselves
their
 future. In my opinion, both views are right
in particular
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 extent.
Submitted by jaloliddinabdusatarov on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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