IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Avoiding preventable illness is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In late 2019, there is a virus that found in the Wuhan Province of China, the virus
then
Linking Words
 became worldly pandemic and known as
COVID-
Use synonyms
19. Many countries are struggling to fight
this
Linking Words
 new enemy, there are around four million reported cases globally. It is often argued that the government is responsible to prevent people from getting the
COVID-
Use synonyms
19. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and think that people's health is their responsibility and here are my reasons. The most important thing to avoid
COVID-
Use synonyms
19 is being sterile, and one of the ways of being sterile is through sanitation. Indeed, the authority has a massive role to inform the public how to keep clean,
however
Linking Words
 it is an individual chosen to obey it or not. Each individual is responsible for his
/
Use synonyms
her hygiene. Being clean help to minimize the chance bacteria
/
Use synonyms
viruses enter our body and
also
Linking Words
 moved to other people, it will make the disease transmission become slower. There are millions or even billions of bacteria
/
Use synonyms
viruses in public places, door handles, handgrip in the bus or train, etc.
Linking Words
therefore when
Accept comma addition
Therefore, when
Therefore when
 we touch that places, the bacteria
/
Use synonyms
viruses that may become serious disease will stay in our palm, and wait for a chance to enter our body. The other way to keep being sterile is to limit our contact with other humans that may have viruses
/
Use synonyms
bacteria in their bodies. The spread of the disease is exponential growth, it means that infected people can transmit the virus to many other people and that other people can transmit to many more other people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is very important to reduce direct contact with others so the virus transmission becomes slower. The authority's best option is to make regulations, and it is a personal responsibility to obey the regulations.
For example
Linking Words
, people are secretly hanging out even though there are regulations that forbid people to gather and if they are infected by
COVID-
Use synonyms
19, it is a hundred percent their fault. To conclude, indeed, the government has a huge role in the fight with
COVID-
Use synonyms
19, it is responsible to share recent information or news to the public, treating a patient that confirmed positive
COVID-
Use synonyms
19, and make regulation regarding
COVID-
Use synonyms
19.
However
Linking Words
, it is his
/
Use synonyms
her responsibility to prevent himself
/
Use synonyms
herself from getting
COVID-
Use synonyms
19. He
/
Use synonyms
she needs to keep his
/
Use synonyms
her hygiene and reduce his
/
Use synonyms
her contact with others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: