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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some kids become famous at a very younge age. Do you think it has more advantages or disadvantages?

#kids #younge #age
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Now a
days
Suggestion
day
, becoming famous by having certain excellent skills for juveniles is becoming an usual thing. But " every coin has two sides". So,
this
Linking Words
 particular topic
also
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 has some advantages and drawbacks. I would
discuu
to consider or examine in speech or writing
discuss
 both benefits and disadvantages and present with my own opinion. On the brighter side, if a child is famous and gaining
attention
Suggestion
the attention
 of thousands,
then
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 he can earn money which makes them
to feel
Suggestion
feel
 independent at
early age
Suggestion
an early age
. Celebrity youngsters
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also earns
Suggestion
also earn
have also earned
 lots of love
amd
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 respect from
teir
of them or themselves
their
 fans which helps them to be confident in their respectful life.
Hence
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, being a celebrity has various personal as well as social benefits for
yougsters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
. On the other side, sometimes it can difficult to handle fame at
early age
Suggestion
an early age
early ages
 because of their
independency
freedom from control or influence of another or others
independence
.
they
Suggestion
They
 are earning by themselves so they do not need their
parents's
Suggestion
parents'
 help and cross their
bounderies
the line or plane indicating the limit or extent of something
boundaries
.
Moreover
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, it
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also agfect
Suggestion
also affects
also affect
 their studies.
Continuasly
Suggestion
Continuously
Continually
 involving to sharpen their talents
can leads
Suggestion
can lead
 to less time for children.
For example
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, if a child is cricketer or a dancer, he or she needs to practice constantly to improve his or her skill.
Therefore
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, their academics will be surely affected by
this
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. Celebrity youngsters used to be always busy to deal with
their fame and to
Suggestion
their fame and
 increase their popularity.
Hence
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, they will spend less time to socialize and play. To conclude, drawbacks are outweigh the advantages of being popular at
early age
Suggestion
an early age
. I
beleive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
, it affects on child psychologically as well as socially. Good balance and guidance is required for them to be on track to
experiance
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experience
 livelihood.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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